Archive for the 'Friendship' Category

I am Feeling Poetic Today (and angry)

Good Bye to an Old Friend


I am hurt
and I am angry

I hate watching
all the pain you’ve caused
I know my own must be the least
but in my heart it hurts the worst

and you uncaring continue on
crushing the hearts you tread upon
casting old loves and friends aside
for something new that’s caught your eye

’til the only consolation left,
for me, and all those who loved you,
is that this time you are really leaving
and at last we can begin to try to forget you
and start to fill the empty space you have left behind

An Letter, Unsent

This is an edited version of the letter I was going to send my friend this summer. Loml asked me not to send it, so I did not, it was catharthic just to have written it.

Dearest Friend,

For nearly 30 years I have thought of you as my best friend. I valued your opinions and enjoyed your company. You have been kind and generious to both me and my family. We have appreciated the things you have given us, your time and your hospitality.

For most of my adult life you were the person I could talk to no matter what happened. You were always the first person I could share good news with and the first person I would call when I was feeling down. I was closer to you than my own sister.

Then you just would not answer the phone anymore. If I did manage to get a hold of you did not want to get together or visit. When I found out the reason why, because you would rather spend time with people you had met on the Internet, my feeling were so hurt. I finally gave up calling, there seemed to be no point, you would not answer the phone, and were unlikely to return my call.

When you described the man you have met as your best friend, I realized how little the term must mean to you, if it can be given so easily to a man that you had met only once.

You are risking everything for an imaginary friend, if you were here I am sure you would assure me that you know him, and I know you believe you do, but factually you do not. It is impossible to know a person based on one meeting, emails and phone calls.

However none of these things are really important. What really matters is that you are hurting your own family! These are the people who love you most and your actions must be causing them incredible pain.

Have you prayed about this? Do can you truly believe that Christ would want you to do what you are doing, or are you listening to the whisperings of the adversary? Satan loves to see these things happen, he will lead you down the garden path, trying to convince you that your own needs are all that matter, and he is there to support and justify all your decisions, but when all is said and done he will desert you and ultimaly you will stand alone.

What I most want you to know is that I do love you and I value our friendship, however I can not support what you are doing. It would be much easier if our husbands were not friends and if I did not care about what your husband and children are going through. I care very much but you are the only one who can control the out come of this situation.

I will always pray for God to bless you and you family.

My Wayward Friend

I have actually had contact with my wayward friend (See Here and here) twice this week. Once by phone, to see if she would be attending my DIL’s baby shower (not able to make it) and again tonight when we were at the same place for dinner. She sat with us, (my folks and Coder and Sissy,) and visited for about an hour.

It was like she had never been gone. I did not ask her what she has been up to, I do not want to discuss personal things with her at this point, (especially not in front of the kids and my folks.) and we have covered all that territory too many times, she know where I stand, and I, sadly know where she does.

I miss her so much!

Friendship

Friendship is a treasure
A jewel that’s without price

Nowhere in my scribblings
Are there words which can suffice

To express the warmth and joy
I feel within my heart

From knowing I have friends
And true friends never part

'Tho miles may seperate them
Or oceans wide and deep

In spirit they are together
True friendship does not sleep

I wrote this a few years ago as a Christmas gift to one of my best friends. I feel a little funny about it now, our friendship has been really tested and it has failed. I talked to her today for what will probably be the last time.

She has made big changes in here life over the past few years, most of them are not positive, and many are distructive to herself and her family. The friend I had for the better part of 30 years is gone and I do not know who this woman living in her body is.

I can not support the pain she is causing her family, and she doesn't really care whether or not we have any contact anyway so I am through.

I feel very sad but this has been coming for the last year so I can't say I am surprised.

If I ever decide to have a midlife crisis I hope I do something more sensible, like take up skydiving or learn snake charming.