Sorry to be Gone So Long

I have been having a hard time finding my place. Getting back to any kind of routine. I think once the kids get back to school things will get better.

I started having a lot of pain in my shoulder. I thought it was bursitis, I have had that before, but oh no, it could be something has simple has that, of course it is another tumor! (My joke about turning into a big tumor is not funny anymore!) I have a bone scan next week to look for more. Woo hoo, just what I want to be doing!

However, my chemo is doing great and must be working, even on the tumor in my shoulder. I don’t even feel it any more. I love the days when I don’t hurt!

We went to a little party last night. I decide to start a ‘Say “No!” to Bad Hair Days’ campaign and wore one of my wigs.I looked great. This morning my hair does not look as bad, just a bunch curls. It would be okay if it was a little thicker, but of course it is falling out, so it get thinner by the day. I probably need to talk to a stylist and find out how to wear and care for thin curly hair. I know it is only hair and should not matter at all in the grand schem of things, but when you look in the mirror and someone you don’t know is looking back at you, it is disconcerting.

I am working on being more positive about some of things I have been whining about. Mainly my nephrostomy. (A nephrostomy it a tube that goes through the back in to a kindey and drains it externally) I have hated it ever since they put it in. What I need to to instead is regognize that with out it I would probably be out one kidney by now. So hooray for the nephrostomy! (no matter how annoying it is.)


4 Responses to “Sorry to be Gone So Long”

  1. 1 shadowlands1501 January 10, 2009 at 4:41 pm

    I am sorry that I didn’t stop more frequently at your blog and post something to the effect, “Where are you?”.

    I like your “Say, “no” to bad hair day” campaign. I think that all women should have at least one wig so that they can do just that, say no to bad hair days.

    I hope that you chemo stops all of the tumors and gives you relief from the pain…as far as I am concerned, pain control is right up there with “air”…

    You are in my thoughts and prayers, dear Rose…

    Your friend,

  2. 2 rollergirl January 13, 2009 at 7:42 am

    Hi there, I found your blog as I may have to have a nephrostomy and have been wondering how it works etc (one of my kidneys is not draining properly). It’s not even definite and I’ve been fretting for two days. Yeah, you have to put all this stuff in perspective and count your blessings – easier said than done, no?! I realised yesterday that your mood dictates everything. As in, if you’re in a good mood you can have a lovely day despite everything that’s happening but if you’re in a sh1tty mood, nothing can make you feel better. So I’m practicing on mood enhancement – mainly via music. (I never think to take my ipod out with me – duh!) Sorry to ramble, I guess I am trying to empathise and send you positive ‘good mood’ vibes!

    Take care,

  3. 3 wanderingrose January 23, 2009 at 9:31 pm

    The nephrostomy is really pretty easy to take care of. I empty it a few times a day. It has to be replaced every 3 months.

    The down side, from my view point anyway, is that it means no more swimming, scuba, or hot tubs for me.

    I find that when I feel good physically it is much easier to be in a good mood and appreciate what I have. When I feel yucky, my mood takes a BIG dive!

  4. 4 rollergirl January 24, 2009 at 5:40 am

    Bless you! Actually, after I wrote that comment I thought, ‘yeah, but when you’re in pain that does obviously impact on your mood’ …but I think you know what I meant!

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