Oncology Appointment

Updates are in red

They did not find anything with the new tests, so at this point I have CUPS or cancer with an unknown primary site, and will start chemotherapy in about two weeks. Maybe my primary was in the uterus, ovaries, or cervix, those are all gone now, or the maybe the Lord has healed the cancer, and I will do my chemo and be fine. The mass was a Stage IV cancer but the mass is gone and we can’t find anything else. I am working on being more upbeat.

 

I was feeling pretty upbeat (I had all those blessings, the Lord healed me right?) but stupidly looked a little on the net and am seeing a median survival of 11 weeks to 11 months.

 

How do I tell this to my children, my parents, my husband. Talked to Loml and the older boys last night, also my sister and parents. Obviously this does little to make any of us happy, however we can hope it is wrong. That is why I had such a hard time sleeping last night and have been awake since 6 am on a Saturday, I am TRYING to stay upbeat. 🙂

 

I want to throw up.

 

I called the University Hospital (they have a big cancer center) and am going over there next week. Since this is fairly uncommon I feel they will have a better idea what to do.

 

Tomorrow I am going to have my hair cut real short and donate it to Locks of Love It will all be gone soon enough anyway, someone may as well get something out of it. I am canceling this for now, I want to have a family portrait done before I cut my hair. Vanity thy name is Rose. 🙂

 

Sorry I can’t think of anything else right now, I am pretty freaked. Okay I am a little better now, I talked to some family and friends and I am not going to panic, the opera is not over till the (happily former) fat lady sings.

 

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