Why I Should Play with the Kids on My Own Block

I have not updated for awhile because I foolishly became involved in a religious discussion on another blog.

I know better than to do that, (Can’t We all Just Get Along, copied of from my MySpce blog. Yup, I am the oldest woman on MySpace, but that is anonther topic) I just get sucked in sometimes and desperately wish I did not.

At the end someone asked why the LDS should be looking for validation from a bunch of Protestants anyway.

I asked myself that question as well. I did not go there originally looking for anything more then posts supporting stay at home moms and maybe some home management information and someone told someone else that we were not Christians and later someone LDS supposedly asked why, and then every one decided to tell us. I have been all over the comments and can not find where anyone asked the question but oh well.

At that point I know I should have walked a way but I did not and now have spent days in the fruitless endeavor of saying that I am a Christian to people who apparently do not define it the same way I do. Although since I never saw a definition I am still a bit in the dark.

I originally thought we were going to actually have an organized discussion. I had points I was working on based on the topic of each post but did not use much of them. We quickly became bogged down on whether or not baptism was necessary (My mother and several of my protestant friends are surprised to hear that apparently it is not.), works vs. faith etc. and I could not adequately respond to everything. To say nothing of the facts that I can’t type, can’t spell and do not think fast on my feet, make me look like an idiot in this type of thing.

After much prayer, finally weary of the it all I have taken my ball and gone home.

I now know that perhaps I should play more with kids from my own neighborhood. At least we speak the same language.

My personal definition of the word Christian – One who follows the teachings, recognizes the divinity of, and accepts the atonement of Jesus Christ, the Son of the Living God. If you fit it, you are in my book a Christian, not that you needed any validation from me. ๐Ÿ™‚


11 Responses to “Why I Should Play with the Kids on My Own Block”

  1. 1 aggiejenn June 7, 2006 at 9:33 am

    I appreciated your responses on CH blog. Thanks for taking so much of your time to respond.

  2. 2 Atlantic June 7, 2006 at 6:05 pm

    Hi wanderingrose!

    I’m not here to debate – I can see why you’re sick of that right now – but just to answer your puzzlement about how this started:

    The whole discussion started fom a comment Linda made, questioning the Protestant teaching of sola scriptura. THis was the first mention of the LDS in the discussion.


    Here’s the comment where she then asks to be told what the differences in doctrine are:


    And here was my comment about the definition of Christian on the same thread. I didn’t read every comment, so I don’t know if any of the Protestants made a serious attempt at a definition.


  3. 3 loveathome June 7, 2006 at 9:09 pm

    Yea, I figured how how the moderate comments!


    There were so many comments over there that I missed yours. Thank you for your comment and giving your definition of Christianity, it is not the same as mine but it is, as far as I can tell the only one that was given over there.

    I am sure Linda was not expecting a barage of “your wrong, I am right” when asked asked about the differances. ๐Ÿ™‚

    There are an incredible number of differances between the Protestant faiths as well, agreeing on one definition maybe difficult.

  4. 4 Laura June 8, 2006 at 9:39 am

    Wandering Rose,

    Please don’t take your ball and go home. I know we speak a different language when it comes to our faith, but I value you and our common bond as mothers, wives and women. There is still so much we could share together and I’m afraid that if you take your ball and play where they speak your own language when it comes to your faith, there will be people out there missing out on your friendship and company.

    I have lived for two years in a predominantly Morman neighborhood. I know this because 1) I see my neighbors walking to church (next door) and 2) there are 2 LDS churches literally within a .5 mile of my house. This tells me that our neighbhorhood is made up of a large base of those that share in the Morman faith. I haven’t yet met any of these people. I see them occasionally. I wave. And they turn as if they don’t see me. Maybe they have dealt all too often with the scrutiny and judgement that comes with defending your faith as you feel you have over at CH and probably elsewhere. Maybe they feel they need to only play within the confines of those that speak like them. Maybe I don’t come across as someone that might need a friend. So, can I encourage you to continue reaching out, as you did at the CH blog to those around you that may not speak the same language, but that could be in need of a friend? You don’t need to share the same faith to encourage someone else as a mother or a wife or a daughter – to share recipes and parenting tips – speaking of, how in the world do I get my 18 month old to not start her day at 4 a.m.? Any ideas?

    My point is, you matter, and more than just to those that speak the same language you do where it concerns your faith. Your personality, your gifts and character could all contribute to making the day of some lonely, young mom that may not speak your language when it comes to faith, but has her share of desires to learn to sew, garden, knit and parent with grace and beauty. If you take your ball and go home, many would be missing out on the joy of who God created you to be!

  5. 5 loveathome June 8, 2006 at 11:16 am

    Thank you Laura,

    You have left such a thoughtful comment.

    I am sorry your experiance has not been as good as it should. I have never lived in an area with many LDS member but I really was under the impression that we (as a people) were more willing to reach out then that.

    I do have two close nieghbors now who are part of the church. They said that they were surprised that we (in our community) had not reached out to them when the moved here. (What no cake?)

    Where I live we tend to consider our selves to be pretty friendly but I guess we aren’t really.

    So we (my family and I) have made it a point to try to get to know the people in the neighborhood better, (in the social sense, not a “join my church” way) if we wait for them it may never happen.

    Do they have any toddler programs at the local library? Might be a way to meet other moms.

    Has for the waking up early problem, Sissy will be 18 this week and I still have mornings where she starts gettting me up at 4 a.m.

    I feel your pain. ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. 6 Laura June 8, 2006 at 4:00 pm

    Please know that I did not mean to say that our neighbors are unfriendly because they are Mormon. We actually were one of the first homebuyers in our two street little subdivision so as others moved in, I should have been the one to welcome them with cake. I was too wrapped up in my own world (and still mostly am) and so in part, my comment was directed just as much at me. It’s not so much that I don’t reach out to them because they share a different faith, but moreso because I’m painfully, selfishly shy. Maybe they are just shy people too and just as lonely and I should be doing something about that. Maybe it’s the intense heat that keeps us inside our homes and away from each other…either way, I should have baked some cakes.

    I just meant to encourage you to not let a painful interaction with a group of people that “speak a different language” come between you and a relationship with others outside your faith. I am grateful that you participated in the conversation. I learned a lot about your faith and even had some myths dispelled. I honor your passion and desire to love and serve our Father well and I pray that this common bond can keep the dialogue open between us in the future.

    As for toddler programs – they do have some. Again, the painfully shy thing comes into play for me so I’m a bit socially self-destructive. I wish you weren’t facing the same challenges at 4 a.m. with your little one, but at least now, I’ll think of you at 4 a.m. and know I’m not alone!

  7. 7 loveathome June 8, 2006 at 6:41 pm

    Laura, shyness has never been one of my been one of my flaws, I am so outgoing that, I am sure that people run when they see me coming.

    We changed congregations shortly after we joined the Church and I felt so alone in the new one I sat in the car and cried. We went back to the old congregation for 5 more years.

    When we finally went back I was more secure with myself and in the Gospel and could see where I had not been reach out to anyone when were were there before.

    We had been nurtued (spoiled) by the the previous congregation and I had walked in to the new one expecting the same treatment from people who did not know I was new to the Church, did not did not know that we had moved into the area under adverse circumstances, know that my new born daughter was disabled and that my heart was breaking, they did not help me because they did not know I needed help.

    I know now they were not the "snobs," I had thought they were, these are wonderful loving people and in my distress I misjudged them.

    On the subject of our early risers, did I mention she is 18 *years* old this week. (I feel so old!)
    I am sure your early bird will out grow this, eventually….
    Sadly mine never has, so, during the summer, her dad keeps really late and we hope for the best. ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. 8 Laura June 8, 2006 at 7:49 pm

    You make a very valid point and one that I have been thinking often of as I miss the community at my old church. Definitely stuff for me to keeping thinking on…

    Is your 18 year old daughter the one born with a disability? Would you mind if I asked what her challenges are? My daughter was born with sensory integration disorder, which has been mistaken for autism at times in other children and we came across it when we talking about the autistic potential she might carry.

    How many children do you have and what are their age ranges?

  9. 9 loveathome June 8, 2006 at 10:07 pm

    We have 4, 3 boys and a girl.

    Sissy has down syndrome, she is mentaly disabled but pretty high functioning, she can read pretty well (2nd or 3rd grade level) but does not have the ability to follow the story line in a chapter book or the coordination to turn the pages correctly if she tried to read one. She does like if I read on to her though.

    She is very social and has excellent speach, a HUGE vocabulary and is pretty easy to understand. She love musicals and acts them out while watching them. She never misses a line. Some times I do it with her but she makes me take the yucky parts. I am always the witch or the wicked stepmother. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I did a bit of quick reading about sensory integration disorder. Wow I have a kids that almost fits that! My second is an EXTREME ADHD child. His is off his meds for the summer and driving me crazy.:) Coder is 14, I think of him as a combination ADHD and obsesvive compulsive disorder. Sometimes I think he might have aspergers but I don’t know and no seems to concerned about it.

    The next boy I call Bear is 20. He is living about 4 hours from here and has finally started college. Yea Bear!

    And then we have my oldest a who lives near here with his with wife. The are expecting our first grandbaby. We are so excited!

  10. 10 Laura June 8, 2006 at 10:18 pm

    Wow – what a family you have! Your daughter sounds like she is a lot of fun, even if she does give you the yucky roles in musicals.

    And your first grandchild – how exciting!

    It sounds like you do have your hands (and heart) full! What a blessed life!

    My biggest struggle with Lou and her SID is finding the balance between enough stimulation that she isn’t driving me crazy and when it’s too much for her and she gets sick (or won’t sleep for a month – and then gets sick from lack of sleep). She’ll be all smiles until she throws up. There’s no warning – she goes from happy and having fun to lethargic, dehydrated and sick literally within an hour. Knowing what triggers it for her has been really difficult.

    Do you have a good support system medically, in your extended family and with friends and church?

  11. 11 loveathome June 8, 2006 at 10:34 pm

    I was pregnent with Sissy when I was baptized. We did not know she had downs until after she was born. I feel that the Lord lead me to the people that would be the most help for me. The sisters in our ward (congregation) have always been very supportive, I feel so lucky to know them.

    My parents live here and I see them all the time.

    Medically is sometimes kind of up and down. I just changed her doctor, the other one and I had no rapour (sp) at all. He told her once that if she did not cry when he gave her a shot, I would take her to McDonalds for supper. There I am not a dime to my name that day and this jerk tells her I will take her out for dinner! I was so mad. And I no matter how hard I tried to explain it to her she just did not get it. So, I called my Mom and she took us out to McDonalds. My mom is pretty okay!

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